Reflections on honest fishermen

That you have read this far is acknowledging your keen interest in learning more about the actual existence of an honest fisherman. Perhaps disbelief would be more to the point, because claims of being an honest fisherman have the same reliability factor as Elvis sightings.

Is that really fair? I say no, at least not in its entirety. Let me cite an example of a completely honest response from typical fishermen.

Question – Did you go fishing today?

Answer – Yes, I did.

There. You see, an honest answer from a fisherman. You thought it impossible.

Question 2 – Where?

Answer – Um, really don’t know how to explain it.

Thus begins a series of responses that sounds like something from a Congressional hearing. Our honest fisherman has begun to cast the truth aside for reasons known only to him.

Question 3 – Do any good?

Answer – Terrific day! Probably threw back 40 and kept a few to clean.

Question 4 – Threw back where?

Answer – I don’t recall exactly.

Question 5 – Any size?

Answer – Lots of big ones. Lost a few monsters too.

That response is often told and accepted by a fraternity of fishermen who fully agree that the stretching of the truth is not actually dishonest. In fact, it is well respected among fishermen. Embellishment is fully encouraged, especially when describing fish that “got away.” Those fish can be, and should be, any size you want them to be. Nobody loses a little fish at the boat. Saying so, even if true, goes far beyond the standards set by fishermen for hundreds of years.

Question 6 – What did you catch them on?

Answer – Not sure what it’s called. Had hooks on it though.

That latter part of that response, honest as it may be, is fisherman gibberish contrived to convey the illusion of honesty.

Question 7 – How deep?

Answer – We fished shallow, 3 to 8 feet, and maybe 15 to 35.

In other words, in the water somewhere on the unknown lake. This is valuable information for an inquisitive fisherman.

Question 8 – What’s for supper?

Answer – McDonald’s for a fishwich.

An honest fisherman? Dear reader, I leave that for you to determine.