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BREAKING NEWS

Life in the fast lane

James Hartung, Minot

Greetings my fellow drivers; it’s nice to share the road with you all.

What a pleasure it is to drive wherever I wish, whenever I wish.

I see most of you everyday. You may not recognize me right away but I know I’ve seen you today, Yes, that was me when I changed lanes in front of you, cut it a bit close because I noticed you hit the brakes a bit to establish a one-car length distance between us. Aah-haw, sorry I didn’t signal but I just didn’t have time as me being in a bit of a hurry. Anyway I needed to get into that hole to get around that slow poke in front of me. That turn signal stuff is nice but you know its just repetitive, you know when I’m changing cause you “see me” go there. When I slow down in an intersection and move to the left or right you know I’m going to turn, I don’t need to tell you twice (pay attention!)

What is the deal with the slow poke drivers anyway? The speed limit has a 5 mph grace that the cops give before they even think about stopping me anyway so why not use it, much of the time I can add another 5 mph to that in traffic because there aren’t enough cops to catch me or stop me for a ticket because it jams up traffic so bad they just can’t do it, Anyway I just hide in the pack of the other “other guys” who are 10 mph over the limit.

It’s a good thing I didn’t do this stuff when I took my drivers test cause the cops would have flunked me (that’s why I didn’t do it then). I know when I took the test I am demonstrating that I can drive by all the rules (see I can do it right) but you know that isn’t real life driving, in real life driving you’ve got to get there and on schedule, I’m not going to give five minutes every trip I make, “that’s 10 minutes every day adding to and from work alone! This is my time and I’ll not lose it for everyone else.